Bloody Brazil Nuts

Very quick post today, as doing this on the way into work on my phone, so please excuse typos.

Yesterday was horrible. I hated every second of it - I ate barely anything as there was nothing I wanted, I was "on the run" most of the day so not in a position to pack the very few meals that are acceptable, and I am sick to death of protein shakes and bloody brazil nuts.  I am not craving anything, I just feel hungry and bored and extremely irritable.

MB is being very sweet and patient with me - it must be frustrating for him hearing me complaining constantly but I am trying, I really am.  The initial "this is great" is now firmly in the past, I hate it.

If I'm honest, when this little experiment is over (which frankly looks like it will be earlier than I had originally anticipated) there are elements that I will take forward as a lifestyle change.  I will not be having carbs with every meal (I haven’t actually missed them that much) and I will certainly eat more protein.  I will be making better use of beans and pulses, which I have quite enjoyed (just not three times a day) and I will continue with the increased intake of vegetables and salads, which has been nice rather than always having pasta and rice accompaniments.

I am not going to weigh myself now until the weekend as I am having such a bad week if I get on the scales and there is no movement I will most certainly quit as this is no fun and if it is not working then there is no point.

BTW - breakfast this morning - boiled egg. Gipping.

As if I was mental

I'M REALLY, REALLY NOT ENJOYING THIS TODAY.

I met MB this evening and we decided to go for dinner together.  This was something in the past that we used to do fairly regularly, something we both thoroughly enjoyed and was always our evening out of choice.  Neither of us are film buffs and so we never go to the cinema; MB is not hugely into the theatre or live music, and I'm really not fussed about heading over to the Emirates and shouting myself hoarse at a bunch of muppets chasing a ball on a Saturday afternoon.  But meals out, well that was our thing.  That and watching Come Dine With Me (see, even there is a food link).

However, since MB (and now me too) joined Ferriss on this mission to become a superhuman, all that has stopped. We rarely go for dinner these days, mostly because cheat days are saved to be used for family get togethers or when MB is going to football, or has work things to attend etc, and heaven knows we can't have two cheats in one week, that would never do.

So tonight, almost giddy with anticipation, we decided to go for a Mexican meal as I had heard that is the most SCD friendly option.  Right?  Wrong.  It was a disaster.

Firstly, having taken our drinks order, a plate of complimentary tortillas and salsa was placed on the table.  Having tried to ignore them I eventually picked one up and sniffed it.  At the point I knew was I not going to be able to stop myself from licking them I told the waiter to take them away.  He looked at me as if I was mental. 

But then it got worse.  We started reading the menu.

There was nothing on there Ferriss would have approved of.   Everything in the place was either covered in sticky sauce (banned as sugars), sour cream or cheese (banned as dairy), coated in breadcrumbs (banned as evil), or came served with rice and tortilla chips.  Now call me old fashioned, but chilli con carne just aint right without the carne.  And Nachos aint right without the tortillas, cheese and sour cream.  And fajitas would surely fall apart without the tortilla wrap... can you see my dilemma?

So we decided to simply do the best we could do.  We shared tequila chicken wings to start (I'm sure the tequila sauce should have been on the banned list but they appeared the less of the three chicken wing evils) but other than eating the napkins and table decorations it was never going to be 100% Ferriss friendly.  He doesn't do, pleasure, Tim.

For mains I was really stuck.  MB chose the sticky ribs (strangely enough, he has turned out to be a bit of a slacker on the rules and I am the SCD nazi) and substituted his jacket potato for refried beans - which I hate - and I chose some BBQ chicken breast thing.  Mine also came with some sort of sticky coating and cheese (I know, I know, don't hate me) but seriously, there was nothing, but nothing on there I wanted to eat!  I forfeited the fries for a side salad.  Yay me...  We also both had coleslaw (banned cause of mayo) and corn on the cob (banned for no apparent reason).

So all in all, Ferriss ruined my night out.  I didnt enjoy the selection process (I found it very stressful), I didn't enjoy the food as not only did I end up eating stuff I would never normally have picked, it was still not 100% right for SCD and I didnt even come away feeling virtuous for sticking to the plan.

So, that's it.  No more mexican for me.

However, there is an upside.  I have a newfound respect for MB's willpower.  How in donkey's kingdom he has stuck to this regime since February is beyond me.  I know there has been the odd day here and there where he has "cheated", but I can see there are occasions where this is utterly impossible to avoid. So, hats (or sombreros) off to ya MB - you're a tough cookie and I luvs ya all the more for it!!!!

Kissing another dog

Well, my little Ferriss friends, I have good news to report, and bad.

First the good.  And there's two lots of that.

Having been most disheartened by the lack of progress during my last post on Friday, I had an extraordinarily busy day, a very healthy lunch and a bowl of daughter's home made chilli for supper.  With no rice, with no garlic bread, with no cheese - my my I'm a new woman.

Anyway, I had a body pump class on Saturday so I hopped on the scales full of optimism and found to my delight that I had dropped another 2lbs - giving an overall of 6lbs loss in one week!  Yeeeeeehar!   I therefore went to the gym with a grin on my face feeling all "oh yeah" and worked so hard that I can barely move my pathetic little arms today.  But hey, it felt good at the time!

The second bit of good news it that I lost more inches!  The new measurements are (drum roll please)

39-28.5 - 39.5

Yay!!!!!  My boobs might fit into a bra again!  My bum might not spill out of the top of my pants!  My jeans may not need a strong hanger and a whole lot of man power to do them up!  There is hope!!!!!

Have also lost two cm off each leg (sorry to switch imperial and metric but I used different measuring tapes).  Not sure whether that's good or bad, as I always thought my legs were a bit spindly, but a wise owl told me recently that "there is no prejudice when it comes to fat" - I guess that means the Lord giveth and he taketh away.  I will tell you more about this diet guru in due course - what an inspirational woman!

So, clearly, whatever my hatred for Mr Ferriss I guess he kind of knows what he is talking about.

But now for the bad.  Or the weird - you decide.

I have not ahd time to update over the weekend, so I will give you brief synopsis only.

Naughty naughty Ellesbelles did not have breakfast on Saturday.  Simply didn't have time and yes, I know it's the naughtiest sin there is, but frankly, getting up and eating that early would turn my stomach anyway, but when I am about to go and get my nether regions waxed there would have been serious risk of me throwing up over my dear lady beautician.    Then, from the torture that is hot wax, straight to gym, from there straight to....  THE PIZZA PARLOUR!!!!    Now, before you judge me, let me tell you this.  I am not a great fan of pizza anyway, but I would sell my soul to the devil for a good bowl of pasta, and when starving and having been deprived of this heavenly treat for over a week I trust you will be suitably impressed that I chose instead to eat a chicken and pancetta salad.  Hell yeah... I'm a reformed character, I tells ya.  Not even a sniff of  dessert.  I'm a new me and no mistake.

However Mrs Smug had worn off by the time I got to MB's house and although we had a gorgeous meal of lemon sole with scallops served with salad and samphire, all I wanted by then was a kebab.  Or a paella. Or a lasagne.  Or a bar of chocolate.    Now I will tell you a secret.  MB has a sweetie cupboard for his little girl and I will confess I walked over to it - I picked up the Percy Pigs and I gave 'em a good ol' sniff.  At one point I even considered licking one.  But I didn't and I got through it as tomorrow was cheat day so I figured I'd earn myself a whole bag if i wanted. 

But it didnt happen.  Why?  I had plans for cheat day.  Big plans -  for waffles, maple syrup, pancakes, bucks fizz... however upon waking I instead a fancied a bowl of unsweetened cereal (and yes, diet guru lady, I did a damage control swig of grapefruit juice)!  Oh well, I thought, I'll work into it.  So I followed a littel later with a bagel with jam.  Sugar rush?  No, nothing. I felt nothing.

Lunchtime was then a picnic lunch with MB's family - I ate a small amount of bread and a few pastry based snacks, which I must say I thoroughly enoyed, and a slice of cake.  However, by the time evening came and I had made a BBQ I was sick as a dog.  As sick as a dog who has been eating sugar and carbs all day.  On a fairground ride.  And who has just seen his little doggy girlfriend kissing another dog. Couldn't have been sicker.    Stomach cramps, gassy, bloated, uncomfortable - yuk yuk yuk.

So it was early bed for me, then back on the old 4 hour body today.  How very disappointing for my first cheat day. 

And they say you always remember your first...

2 boiled eggs and a cup of tea

Ok my little blogging friends.

Sad news to report. 

I hopped on the scales this morning, and despite having proudly reported my inch loss yesterday, the weight is the same.  How can that be?  It's a bit irritating, because although I promised myself not to expect to continue losing at the earlier rate I found myself pouting at the scales.  

However, not one to be deterred by a wee setback, I ploughed on with the most unappetising breakfast yet.

2 boiled eggs and a cup of black Earl Grey tea with lemon.  Sweet Lord how dull was that?  Every mouthful had me pulling faces, but I kept picturing those stubborn little numbers on the bathroom scales and imagined their ugly, smirking faces laughing at me, taunting me, luring me away from the eggs to a croissant.  But no!  I stayed strong and ate the boring little critters.  And surprisingly, I didn't think about food again until I got back from a meeting at 2.30pm, at which time I ate a HUGE plate of sashimi with ginger and edamame beans and some kind of vegetable/salad which I had never seen before in my life.  And that was delicious.

Are you proud of me again now?

Btw, haven't posted a pic of today's meals as far too boring for me to look at them (bad enough eating them first time round), but perhaps tomorrow I will be inspired to be more creative.

Ideas on a postcard please... and anyone suggesting pancakes will be struck off my Christmas card list.

Rapper's delight

I'm feeling a little blue tonight - tired, still at work with lots left to do before court tomorrow.  Now usually, I would find myself heading down to the shop and picking up a bag or two of monster munch, with a side order of Reese's peanut butter cups, or perhaps a bar of galaxy (why have cotton when you could have silk???), but today I've gone for a different pick me up.  And this one has the effect of not only being calorie free, but it actually makes me smile too. And dance a bit, albeit the bum dance in my seat.

Go on - I defy you to play this and not feel happier...

Sugar Hill Gang

Oh 1979 how I miss thee.

A little cheese here and there

So hear it is - day 4 (feels like longer, funny enough) and other than falling off the wagon face down into a donut yesterday, I've been very very good.  I am taking my supplements.  I am drinking my protein shakes.  I am eating eggs.  I am eating vegetables and salads.  But geewhiz I'm full up.  I mean, for a girl that quite regularly goes for days on end without a decent meal (grabbing snack bars/muffins en route to court - basically eating anything portable and easily held in one hand) it is actually quite hard physically making time - and room - for these healthy meals. 

I never got round to posting these pics yesterday, but here are Tuesday's lunch and dinner meals:

Now as you can see, that is a lot of food for one little girl.  But, surprisingly, whilst it is a lot to eat, its feels so much lighter than my usual bread/rice/pasta based faves that I can eat more of it without feeling over stuffed. And so though I do feel full, I dont feel bloated, and that brings me to the next piece of news.

I LOST ANOTHER INCH OF MY WAIST!!!!!!!

OK, OK, I accept that I am just losing water/bloat etc, but still - 29.5inches today (although still nothing of boobs and bum, another reason I think it was belly bloat rather than actual fat - that will take longer to budge).

The eagle eyed amongst you will have spotted however that whilst I am being very strict with myself about what I'm eating, I am not sticking to Mr Ferriss' regime to the letter, as I am allowing dairy.  Not a lot, but I didn't eat a lot of dairy anyway (except cheese - I could live on that!).  I am drinking mostly tea and coffee black and have switched to Almond milk (which is actually OK).  I am only eating a very small amount of unsweetened natural greek yoghurt, and a little cheese here and there.  I am sure the plan would work better and faster if I did cut out the dairy but that, my friends is a step too far...

forgive me father, for I have sinned...

... I ate a donut :-(

In my defence, I've had a really, really bad morning, and the protein shake was simply not cutting the mustard.  But now I feel rather sick and my guilt ruined the overall deliciousness, making the original glaze somewhat disappointing. 

I need to keep myself on track or this will be me and MB in a few months:



Not a nice thought.

Well that's a weight off my... body!

Well, well.  Weigh in day this morning and I can't say I look or feel any different (but it has only been 48 hours) so stepping on the scales was a mighty shock.

I've lost 4lbs!!!!  That's right people, 4lbs.  Almost half of what I said yesterday I needed to lose!  Inspired by this I whipped out the tape measure to see I've also lost half an inch of my waist (no change to bust or hips yet). 

All this, when I've actually eaten more than I usually would, and certainly eaten healthier foods (did you SEE all that green on my plate yesterday? And not a Monster Munch or toffee bonbon in sight).  So feeling pretty darn smug today... and its only 5 more days til cheat day when i can eat whatever I want for a whole day.

I accept, of course, that just about every woman I know seems to lose weight relatively easily at the beginning of a diet, probably due to water weight, or just the fact that we usually have a wee pig out right before the diet starts, so I am not going to get complacent.  I am not quite ready to pat Mr Ferris on the back just yet. However I do think that this might be the start of a whole new healthy way of eating going forward - just don't quote me on that next time you see me scoffing donuts on my way to work.

Get out of jail free

OK then.  Its the end of day 2 and I've survived.  Just.  No moments of weakness, no cheating, no nasty nasty evil white carbs.  Oh well, no one said it was going to be easy. 

However, this post is a perhaps a bit of a downer on Tim.  I have looking a little deeper into this "regime" and frankly I'm a little concerned.

Firstly, I don't think I've done enough research.  MB has been a convert and I have basically copied his diet and followed his moves.  Not usually my way - I usually resarch, research some more, then do a bit of resarch before deciding I'll make the decision after some more research.  This time has been different.  I suppose this is in part because my heart's not in it and I am probably doing it for the wrong reasons, and such am not really enthused about reading in.  Also, MB keeps telling me he is not making me do it - he has not asked me to and he doesn't expect me to.  Yes, yes, I know that.  He has never, ever asked me to do it, but as he has made it plain that his diet is his business (which I suppose I can't argue with) then in my mind I have to try.  Otherwise we are on the slippery slope to separate meals, separate bedtimes, separate lives.  Before you know it he'll be sharing a three bean mixed salad with some boyfriend stealing witch and I'll be sobbing into my BigMac and fries and double portion McFlurry.   Over reaction?  Possibly.  Probably.  But I've never pretended to be rational.  I was brought up that a family eats together and for me that means the same food.

But I digress.  I am confused by Tim's preachings.  I read a post today on an old blog of Tim's that says no carbs except within a set time of a work out.  Read it here - its rule No 1.

Tim's blog

Whaaaaaaaat?  So carbs are allowed if you are working out?  Surely not!  Unfortunately, despite this wonderful, delicious, heartwarming and yet ultimately misleading revelation having me on the treadmill dreaming of a cinnamon swirl, it's all a pile of bollocks.  The rule is no naughty carbs, workout or not, unless cheat day.  But you can see my confusion.  The lying, cheating tease.  Say it with me people - I HATE YOU TIM FERRISS!

So, it seems that despite my thinking I had found a Get Out of Jail Free card, I hadn't.  I had only found Tim changing his mind.  Or getting it wrong.  Or not being clear.  Perhaps, if I am being mighty generous, I misunderstood.  Whatever - I still didn't get my cinnamon swirl.  Instead, I got this:

Now, it doesnt look much, I grant you, but it was lovely.  Fresh prawns, butterbeans with lemon and parsley, santini tomatoes.  Fresh, light, yet filling.  Oh yes, and AGG supplements.

And nuts - oh God the nuts.  Too many nuts.

The other bit of news today is that I did a body fat test today - online so perhaps not the most reliable, scientifically, but the reading came out at 26%.  My optimum, apparently, is 20% (ie optimum "normal", "healthy" etc, I dont want to  be "athletic" or "lean") and further apparently (nice grammar, EB) I therefore only need to lose 9LB to get there.  Now that all sounds a bit suspect to me, but hey, I can do that with my eyes shut.  Lose 9lbs?  Watch it and weep Ferris...

Weight in tomorrow - woohoo!

I'm all ears

Well, day 1 passed without a hitch.  The dinner with MB's family was fine (MB brought along a tin of haricot beans for us, instead of potatoes) so the only real test was having my all time fave dessert of pavlova placed in front of me like some tempting little siren calling my name.  It was hard, very hard, but I resisted.  In all honestly, would I have resisted if MB wasn't there?  Probably not as it would have been easy to say "oh well, this is just day 1 - I'll start it for real tomorrow".  However, resist it I did, and I'd now be annoyed with myself if I now cheated as I'd be setting myself back 2 days, not 1, and so on. 

As I am office bound,  breakfast will always be a challenge for me but as I dont always eat breakfast anyway I am going to see how I get on with a protein shake and a handful of nuts.

 If I find that's not enough I may have to consider bringing in a boiled egg or something, but I really hate the idea of cold eggs, and I leave the house so early I just can't eat when I first get up.  We'll see how it goes, but if anyone has any nice breakfast suggestions I'm all ears...

Will be going for a new weigh in tomorrow (48 hours in) so will see how it goes.

Day 1 - so far so... boring.

And we're off!

The day started with a big old grump on as instead of my usual cup of tea in bed I had a cup of black tea with a slice of lemon, a glass of water and the first 3 of my 13 supplements I will be taking daily from now on together with 2 brazil nuts.  How dull.

Things soon picked up though, with my real breakfast consisting of two poached eggs, bacon, beans and cherry tomatoes.  Not too bad, I suppose, although it did feel weird not having a slice of toast with it.  

Have decided that whilst the tea with lemon will do for most of the day, there are certain times when a cup of proper tea and nothing else will do.  Hell, I'm only human...

MB has headed off to Waitrose now for the ingredients for lunch.  As we are out for dinner at his mother's tonight so for lunch we are going to have a light omelette and salad.  Wouldn't probably usually fancy eggs twice in a day, but frankly at this stage I need to eat stuff I like more than I need variety and if I didnt have that I would probably have been served a bowl of lentils...  give it a few days and I'll no doubt be sick to the back teeth of eggs.

I understand dinner this evening is to be chicken casserole, so that's OK - I am not a big potato fan anyway so it wont bother me if I dont have those.  I'm also allowed red wine on this diet, which is pretty cool.  A glass or two a day - dont mind if I do!

No point measuring or re-weighing today as its too early to tell anything yet.  However, I can't honestly say I'm hungry, although for some reason I just can't stop thinging about food.  But that might be because I've watched 5 episodes of come dine with me this morning!

More than a little grumpy

Shit.

Got on scales today for the big pre-diet weight in, only to discover that I am now officially the heaviest I've been in over 4 years, and what's more I have put on 7lbs - yes 7lbs - in just over a week!  Admittedly that is in part because since I decided to jump on the Ferriss bandwagon I have deliberately, wantonly and recklessly eaten what ever I wanted, whenever I wanted and boy oh boy do I feel it.  I am sluggish, lethargic and more than a little grumpy, I feel fat and I am now more than ready to have a few weeks of taking the load off my overworked systems.  Not only that, but my blood pressure is up (150/100) and it is clearly and positively time to sort it out.

However, to send me off in the best way I've spent the day at the Taste Festival in London, scoffed and drank to my hearts content, then came home for fish and chips and beer.  Jeeeeez I feel sick now.

So, the pre-diet vital stats are as follows:

Weight             10 stone 10lbs (eeeeeeeeek!)
Measurements   40-31-41

I have not set a target weight, but if I dont lost half a stone in the next two weeks I'll be pretty gutted.

Wish me luck?

sylph like frame

The supplements have arrived.

Apparently, my sylph like frame is now within easy grasp so long as I swap my cheese and onion crisps for the following yummy mix of pills:

·        Policosanol

·        Alpha Lipoic Acid

·        Green Tea Extract

·        Odourless Garlic

This clever little concoction is hereafter known and to be referred to as P-A-G-G (geddit???? Oh Mr F you really are a true genius.)

Before starting to rattle like pair of well worn percussion maracas however I suppose I really ought to read up on what each of these little morsels is supposed to give me… I’ll let you know when I find out.

Prepping for the big day...

... and no, the big day is not my wedding, not the birth of my child, not even the start of a new job.   The big day in question is in fact, my friends, little more than the start of a new diet.  But is it just a new diet?  No, this is so, so much more than that.  This is the start of, potentially, a whole new way of life.  Or the end of my relationship.  Or both.  Who knows.

Let me explain, in brief, how I got here.

A few months ago my very lovely and previously rather normal boyfriend (who shall be known as MB) went a bit nuts.  Not technically insane or anything, but just a bit bonkers.  His insanity, however, relates entirely to his dietary intake.  Foods which we had both previously enjoyed and indeed relished are now banned from his diet for six days a week and, as I am a bit weird in that I like us to sit down and enjoy a meal together (by which I mean the same meal, at the same time, together) ergo they are similarly banned from mine.  Then, on the seventh day, instead of resting as God intended we are expected to gorge ourselves on those previously banned foods to the point where the pleasure is removed and by the end of Cheat Day (as it is known) the idea is, apparently, to feel sick.

So what caused this breakdown of MB's sensible mental faculties?  It was his discovery of the 4 Hour Body, written by the inimitable Mr Tim Ferriss.  Now don’t get me wrong, I'm sure the man is a genius.  I am sure he has worked very, very hard to hone his skills and has presented them clearly concisely into a book which has become, for many, the gastronomic equivalent of the bible.  However, notwithstanding Mr Ferriss' obvious talent and mastery of his subject, I hate him.  Yes, you heard me, I HATE TIM FERRISS!  I fully accept that this is an irrational hatred, built on nothing but lack of white carbs.  But there you have it.  I am a woman, I am entitled to the odd irrational hatred now and then. 

I do not fully set out the premise behind Mr Ferriss' works here (that will follow as I work out what I’m supposed to be doing), but will post a link to his blog so you can see what it is all about.  It would appear that he is a mighty popular chap, with numerous blogs, Facebook groups etc all waxing lyrical about the magic diet. Yada yada yada.

Reluctantly, I will admit since starting the diet, my boyfriend's body is looking pretty bloody amazing.  Not that he was fat before, far from it, and I would go so far as to say that he was truly perfect in my eyes and did not need to change a thing.  However, within 2 weeks of starting the diet he had lost a shed load of weight, had become super toned, the starting of the love handles he had battled against for years had gone completely and he has the body of a man ten years younger.  What's not to like, right?  Well, what I don’t like is the list of "can't haves".  These are summarised below (and this list is not, nor is it intended to be comprehensive):

·       Bread

·       Rice

·       Pasta

·       Potatoes

·       Fruit

·       Sugar

Now as I say, this is not a comprehensive list, but in this mini list are all the food groups I survive on. No longer can we pop out for lunch/dinner with family/friends as the chances are they are not going to give us a plate of lentils or a boiled egg.  Restaurant visits are planned with military precision to ensure there is more than just a salad for us to eat.  Breakfast, previously a leisure indulgence of croissants, pain au chocolat etc, to be enjoyed in bed on a Sunday morning is now forbidden and instead in comes eggs and spinach.  Or plain yoghurt.  With cinnamon – everything with bloody cinnamon!  Oh, and don’t forget the mountain of supplements I need to take every day.  There are other negative side effects too, but these will follow on another day, when I get to know you better.

I could go on.  And on, and on, and on.

So then, given my intense antipathy for this stupid, stupid diet, why am I going to start it too?  Well frankly, dear reader, it’s because if you can’t beat’em, you must reluctantly join ‘em.   I have begged, cajoled and pleaded with MB to give this awful, boring, repetitive nonsense up, but he won’t hear of it.   And frankly, I could do with losing a few pounds myself so I am going to give it my very best shot in the hope that I may learn to love cannellini beans and odourless garlic tablets as much as the next person.  If not, then I guess I will be back online dating before you can say I hate you Tim Ferriss…

Let the preparations commence.