Does not involve sausages

I am here today with a fully belly and virtue in my soul, along with a big fat (carb free) dollop of smugness.

My breakfasts, as you know are a trial.  I don't enjoy them, and I'm not that good at eating stuff I dont enjoy.  I can (and frequently do) skip meals rather than eat something I don't fancy, which I know is every bit as naughty as eating a whopping great big slice of chocolate cake with a side order of fries.  At least that's what they would have you believe, even though it sounds like nonsensical tosh to me.

However, I decided the other morning to see if I could get creative and come up with some suitable, portable breakfast goods that don't make me wanna gag, that still (by and large) fit the programme. 

I DID IT!

I trawled the net for some recipes, and ended up with a combination of a few different recipes and came up with a hybrid of breakfast sausage/scotch egg.  Now before anyone screams at me, yes I know sausage is not really alloweed, but its a darn sight better than a chocolate croissant, so give me a break, yes?

The creation is now lovingly known as "Dinosaur Eggs", for reasons which may be apparent from the picture...

Anyway.  The (not perfect) recipe is as follows:

4 large hard boiled eggs shelled
8 skinned sausages (look for quality sausages with lowest rusk content possible)
1 onion - finely chopped
handful of mushrooms - finely chopped
squirt of ketchip (yes, yes, I know its naughty, hence the not perfect comment above)

Mush all the ingredients except the eggs and divide into four.  Take an egg and wrap the sausage mixture around it, taking care to ensure the are no gaps.  Repeat for other three eggs.

Place on a wire tray and bake for 20-25 mins, or until sausage meat is cooked.

You'll see from the picture that in fact my meat casing did come apart in the cooking process, not sure why that was, but actually I think it made them look cuter!  Hey, I don't get out much, little things please me.

The end result was deeee-lish.  Although I do accept that this is perhaps because I've been living on protein shakes for breakfast for simply too long...

I'm now working on a similar recipe that does not involve sausages - perhaps minced pork would work? - so that I can make these an official Ferriss friendly morning staple.  Also thinking that wrapping them in bacon might be a nice touch too... essentially I'm aiming for a full English wrapped up in handy bite size pieces!

And now that breakfast is sorted, who is willing to work on a carb free substitute for cheese and onion crisps?

Tomorrow's lesson, if I can be bothered, is slow carb stuffing and mashed non-potatoes...   Martha Stewart has nothing on me.

Letter to Tim

Dear Tim

I wonder if you can help me.

I have been trying oh so, oh so very hard to stick with your monstrous diet.  I admit that when I do manage it for more than 3 hours at a time it does make me feel healthier, lighter, less bloated yada yada yada but I'm afraid my constant bad mood is outweighing the benefits just now.

Take yesterday.  I was not in a position to eat an SCD breakfast as had to be in work early (and we've already discussed my inability to force down food within 30 mins of waking).  I therefore allowed myself a small bowl of natural unsweetened Greek yoghurt. On any other planet this would surely be acceptable but not to you so I felt guilty all morning.

Breakfast fail.

Lunch.  Was starving, and felt that as I'd failed anyway I might as well have a burrito.  I then spent afternoon feeling guilty too.

Lunch fail.

I had a seminar afterwork so did not get home til 9pm.  I was tired, grumpy and not terribly hungry (due to burrito) so certainly not in the mood to crack on with lentils etc.  I therefore chose instead to go without supper.

Dinner fail.

So you can see yesterday did not work well, primarily due to YOU NOT GIVING ME ANY OPTIONS FOR BREAKFAST!

Sort it out Tim, or I'm off.

Ellesbelles

Don't tell my catholic mother

Today's entry is a sad offering people.

I started well.  Spent the night with MB (shhhhh - dont tell my catholic mother) so had very SCD supper of bacon and mushroom omelette with spinach and butter bean salad.  Oh, and red wine (of course). 

When we got up for work he went downstairs and started the days prep.  "Do you want an egg honey?" says he (OK, artistic licence there - he'd never call me honey.  And after last time he'd probably never offer me an egg either). "No thanks chickenpie - but I'd just LOVE a protein shake".  Yep, artistic licence throughout.

But I struggled through and drank the bloody thing.

And the cup of tea.

And then needed a pee throughout the entire tube journey into work.

Life was so much easier with a sausage bagel.

Starved by his nearest and dearest

So chaps, did you miss me?  :-)

The more astute amongst you, or perhaps by that I mean those of you who know what month it is, will have noticed that I've been AWOL for some time.  Well let me assure you that my absence has not been because I have been filling my face with fajitas, nor have I been nibbling the naughties.  Oh no.  I have been a busy busy girl, what with one thing and another, one of those things being MB's recent surgery.  However that is not to say that I have been an avid follower, because, as you know, I cannot tell a lie.  I have had good days and bad, and I would guess that there were probably more bad than good.

Now as you may recall MB's prospective surgery was one of the things that made him turn all weight nazi on me in the first place.  He felt he needed to lose a few lbs to aid recovery, and I'm sure there is some merit to the argument.  So, being that I am the best girlfriend in the world and all,  I decided that I would do all I could to help him in his quest post op, and I therefore "moved in" with him for a few weeks whilst he was on crutches to aid with the every day tasks like shopping, cooking etc.  Let me be clear though.  Whilst I suppose am a reasonable (or as some of my kinder friends have described me, "enthusiastic") cook and I do have a few tried and trusted dishes that I seem to be able to pull off without fear of causing death or even serious e-coli, I'm absolutely no threat to Mr Oliver.  Mr Ramsay sleeps soundly at night, and even Fanny's followers don't fear me and she's been dead for the best part of 20 years.  But I digress. 

Whilst off his feet, I thought I would take over the Ferriss frenzy on MB's behalf and rustle up some delicious Slow Carb feasts for us.  I planned 4 hour body slow carb recipes such as tuna tartare with homemade bean salsa.  I planned beanburgers.  I planned braised chicken with tomatoes and cannelini beans.  Are you surprised to learn it did not go to plan?  No?  Nor me.  Everything tasted bland and, to be brutally honest, rank.  The bean burgers were less bean burger than they were bean mush.  The tuna tartare didn't materialise at all as I just couldnt summon the enthusiasm.

Part of the problem is that Inspiration is not easy to come by, if you dont like beans.  But I did my best and to be honest I think we both lost some weight as it was all so rank most of it went in the bin.  My poor patient, needing his strength to recover, was being slowly starved by his nearest and dearest.  Not to mention the fact that I had one or two other "mishaps" on the nursing front leading him to believe that I was actually akin to Kathy Bates in Misery, something that has made me chuckle for weeks now.

However all is not lost.  I've learned from the lesson.   So long as I stop trying to be inventive I can manage OK.  Today's lunch, for example, was an exquisite little lentil salad (OK, it was lentil and couscous and it had goats cheese in it, but there was only a smidgeon of both these contraband items so I am not losing sleep over it) with huge pile of gorgeous Honduras prawns. Yuuuuuum.

Dinner tonight is to be fillet steak with butter beans, mushrooms, broccoli and samphire.  Tomorrow I am planning on a salmon teriyaki style dish with pak choi and edamame. 

So perhaps all is not yet lost.

I need to update my stats, will try to remember to do so tomorrow.

These Noisy Pachyderm

Hello friends

As those who know me will already be aware, I've been poorly for the past few days.  I woke with a screaming mo-fo headache during the night on Monday, my darling MB was up and down bringing me tablets, water etc, but nothing shifted it.  Needless to say the 6.20am was not a welcome visitor.  However, a brisk walk to the station cleared off some of the cobwebs, and a few of the tapdancing elephants in my skull seemed to take a bit of a nap.  Unfortunately, there were apparently quite a few of these noisy pachyderm up there and some were wide awake, so whilst the pain toned down a notch from "I want to pull my brain out through my nose" down to "OK, if I sit in the dark and don't speak or blink it is just bearable", it remained constant.

This posed a problem for me.  Firstly, I was at work, and as I am only in for a few days this week it is mega, mega busy. 

Secondly, and as you have already heard me say - and yes I know, you've heard it many, many times - I HATE the breakfasts on this plan.  Sliding  beans, spinach, lentils etc down my throat when I get up is something I dread and it makes me feel queazy all day.  I can just about manage an egg, if I must, on a good day, but when dumbo is kicking out his best Fred Astaire moves in my head it just aint happening and there is no way I can swallow that without knowing for certain it is going to come back for an encore.  So I skipped breakfast and apparently that too, is very, very bad.

By mid-morning I was feeling really sick and decided that Ferriss or no Ferris, I have to eat and it aint gonna be a lentil. So I bought a tuna sandwich (wholemeal bread) and a carton of orange juice.  I felt better for a bit, but soon back to bad.

This palava went on for two days.  I was almost crying with the pain and I therefore decided to scrap the diet altogether (until then I'd been very good with my protein shakes, my ham and beans for lunch, my riceless chilli for supper)  and I popped out to Starbucks for an iced full fat latte.  Oh yes, and a brownie (shhhhhh, I haven't told anyone that bit).  Literally within 30 minutes my headache was gone - it seemed these naughty noisy elephants just wanted a cup of good old caffeine to quieten them down.

So today, I am feeling on top of the world but have decided to tweak my diet slightly.  I am no longer engaging in the nonsense that is Ferriss friendly breakfast, but instead I will partake of a normal (albeit moderate) petit dejeuner which may be toast, it may be cereal, it may be fruit, it may be yoghurt.  It may be whatever the hell I fancy on any given day. And it will be accompanied by my one and only full caffeine coffee of the day - the rest of the time I will be drinking either decaf or herbal tea.  But then lunch and dinner I am back on the plan, like a good girl. 

I have also made two further changes which I think will help my reach my goals.

I now keep a 1.5 litre bottle of water on my desk and I am determined to finish at least one of these a day (bearing in mind I already drink two or three glasses a night at home - I drink a glass before bed, I then take one with me and have another when I wake up).

The other and far more exciting (for me) step is that I have also now implemented my kettle bell swings.  I have only done the 8kg so far and to be honest I think the weight is a little light, but I do 25, stop then do another 25 twice a day.  So committed am I that I even did them when i got in at 1.30am this morning!  I know I can do more than that both in terms of weight and reps, but I want to go slowly so that I build my strength bit by bit, rather than risking injury.  I actually really enjoy the mini workout too, so now that I've been doing this a while I am going to increase to perhaps 35/35 and see how I get on.  When I get to 50/50 on the 8s then I'll up the weight to the 10kg and see how that goes.

Watch this space, I'll be posting pics of my perfectly peachy posterior in no time...

Ellesbelles xxxx

gonna get me some spinach

Well, my friendly Ferriss followers, I am slightly more "up" about the plan at the moment, even though to be honest my organisational and planning skills have let me down.  

As I reported last night, late night munchies in the office does not lead to low carb success.  What it leads to is late night Chicken Royale with cheese, and onion rings and a full fat coke.  (Really?  Moi?  No.  Or is that Yes?  You decide.. am I a sinner or a saint?)

So, whinging away to a lovely group of slow carb gals (you know who you are, take a bow ladies) I happened to mention that I was missing my favourite foods.  And my wise owl said to me:

' You don't have to say goodbye to the foods you know and love....just say "I'll see you on Cheat Day, my lovelies!"  '

How cool is that?  And it's spot on.  So, I'm gonna get me some organisation, I'm gonna get me some spinach, ham, eggs, tuna, and beans and stock the office fridge. Move over, you delicious little New York Cheesecake slice, I need room for my chilled lentil soup.  But whilst you can run, you little temptress, dont think you can hide, cheat day is never more than 6 days away...

Out now for dinner with MB, I've already looked at the menu and thinking I'm going for mussels to start (or perhaps the crab and avocado stack?) and then a nice steak and green veg with garlic butter.   Yum yum.  This diet is kinda cool...

A Whisker Away

Well hello strangers.  Nice to see you.

I'm back from my "valas vacaciones en el sol" and had thought that meant no more silly diets, no more beans, no more flaming Ferris.

But what happened?  I went on holiday, I ate, I drank, I was merry.  And I felt fat, and bloaty and, if you'll forgive me, a bit farty.  Now that's not terribly ladylike I know, but I hadn't realised that actually my body doesnt really like bread and pasta as much as I do.  Jeepers - even my body is split personality.

So I have decided to jump back on Tim's wagon.  Firstly, just to get back to my pre-holiday weight (oh it did feel nice being "9 stone something" rather than "10 stone *cough, splutter".  Even if that 9 stone something was only a whisker away from the big one-oh.

Surprisingly, given my outrageous behaviour whilst away (oh me, oh my, did we clear some cocktails - and I understand there is photographic evidence to prove it) I have only gained 5lbs.  And that is still 6lbs less than I was when I started.  But the holiday pics I've seen certainly show plenty of room for improvement so I would now like to get back to the 9st +++  and then perhaps stick with Tim for 2 of my 3 meals a day (I just hate the breakfast too much for that be part of my life long term).

So its out with skipping breakfasts, boozy lunches, laying around in the sun and carby dinners and its back to "your body is a temple".   and that's not easy in my job.  For example, I am sitting at work now, its late (very late) and I'm looking round for something to eat.  What is there that Tim would approve of?  Nothing.  So I decide to ask my diet nazi (but still rather gorgeous) MB for his advice.  And it came as follows:

"Tim would do lunges before eating 3 sheets (no more) of A4.  Many are called but few are chosen..."

Thanks for your help MB.  Ever thought of running a motivational course?

Oh, and not only am I all about the beans and lentils again,  my kettlebells have arrived - I am only a crunch and a swing away from a perfectly pert posterior.  Although so far they have only been used as door stops.

Ellesbelles xxxx

Salivating Over The Hot Buttery Bread

Yes yes yes.  I'm a failure:  not a total failure, but a failure nonetheless.

I cheated again, a little bit.  If you can call almost a whole peshwari naan a little bit.  Its quite a big bit really, I suppose.

You see I met the lovely SJ for a quick glass of pre-holiday red, just to limber up in time for our hols at the weekend.  However, after the first glass we had another, then finished the bottle.  As you do.  Now at that point, bearing in mind the huge, delicious and totally Ferriss friendly lunch I'd had only a few hours before, I should have said "nighty night SJ, it's been a blast - see you at the airport on Saturday, mwah mwah!!!".  But I didn't.  Instead, I said "Curry?".

Now things could have been much much worse.  To find said curry we had to walk past Strada (Italian restaurant), a number of pubs (one of which does fabulous fish and chips, doncha know), Yo-Sushi, Gourmet Burger Kitchen and numerous other fine eateries.  However, curry, I thought, is a pretty SCD option and as we can have daals etc, we won't want bread, right?  Wrong.  Apparently, I did.

So it starts with the waiter offering me poppadums.  "Not for me, thank you Sir", I say.  Two minutes later, his colleague arrives.  "Poppadums?" he says?  "No thanks, as I told you colleague, I don't want your poppodums, thank you".  See, I can be strong.  "How about your friend?" he asks.  Now at this stage I should have declined on SJ's behalf (who was away powdering her nose at the time) but I hesitated, just for a split second but that's it all it took and they saw my weakness.  Seconds later he was back, tempting us once more with his delicious, crunchy, crispy fare.  Oh go on then.

By now we're well into our second bottle of wine.  Not good, I know, but hey, it was red, and that is one of the few pleasures in life Tim allows, and indeed encourages.  Although he does say to limit it to two, by which I assume he means glasses, not bottles. 

Next comes the menu.  I skipped starters and avoided bhajis etc.  No saag aloo for me this time, no sirree.  I hovered over a Chicken Chat Puree, and I almost fell face first into a samosa. But I didn't, as inside was screaming:

I AM A STRONG WOMAN!!! I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!

So I studiously pored over the menu and selected butter chicken and a channa masala side.  Perhaps not the very best option, but nothing that horrendous there.    SJ chose chicken tikka and a daal.  Aren't we good girls?  Then along comes the waiter and we confidently place our slow carb order.  "Rice?" asks Satan.  "No thanks, we're good" we reply. 

But then comes the killer blow.  "Naan?" he enquires as innocently as if he was simply passing me one of those scorchingly hot towels that do nothing but remove the make up from around the lower part of my face making me look as if I have a five o'clock shadow in reverse.  I could feel the tension behind my eyes as I tried to refuse.  My hands became clammy, my heart was pounding with desire for the nutty sultana bready goodness.  I knew not to look into his eyes but I couldn't help it - it was too late and he pulled me to his trap.  Before I knew it I was salivating over the hot buttery bread and the diet was over.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Well then, after my pretty poor effort last week I was quite surprised to note that I only put 2lbs back on, which all in all is pretty good, particularly as I am now utterly focussed on giving it my all for the next 5 days before I go off on hols.

To start me off, Saturday was a pretty strict SCD, save that I did imbibe in a glass of rose wine (left over from the night before - well, it would have been rude to waste it) but other than that my day was as follows:

Breakfast:  smoked salmon, two poached eggs, salad.  (Sorry chaps, lentils for breakfast doesnt work for me)

Lunch:  lentils sauteed with onions and garlic, seasoned and splashed with balsamic vinegar and topped with crispy bacon.  Surprising tasty, even if it does look like cat food.

Supper:  Rare cooked fillet steak with red onion, mushroom, mixed green veg and a side of butter beans.  One of the best meals I've eaten in ages - I was totally stuffed!  Oh, and two glasses of red wine.

I took my supplements with every meal (yay me) and drank lots of water and avoided milk in my coffee.   Felt full up yet virtuous at bedtime.

Sunday was cheat day, which was ridiculous really as I hadnt been good enough last week to earn it, but we took MB's little girl for dinner and frankly, when Wagamama comes a'callin' I come a'answerin...

Today I'll be having my protein shake for breakfast (there is simply no other option that I can stomach in the mornings at my desk) and I'll be heading out to good ole M&S to pick up lunches for the week so there can be no more excuses about not having stuff available.   However, I'm going out with my dear friend SJ tonight.  We are a terrible influence on each other (holiday next week is no doubt to be a very messy affair!) and I know if we eat out it will be a trial to resist the call of the carbs.  But, I'll do my best and if I do succumb you can rest assured that I will 'fess up tomorrow...

WALKING TALKING PINTO BEAN

So.

I've not had the best week.  In fact, some may say I have had a shitty week.  I've had stuff going at work, at home, in my personal life - everything - and frankly the last thing a girl wants for comfort food is a bag of lentils.  So, I decided that rather than trying and failing to stick with the plan I'd abandon it for a few days and get my head straight.

And now I'm back.  If I'm honest, I am far less enthused now - falling off the wagon was just so darn easy - but I have set myself the target of sticking to it 100% until I go on hols next weekend.  So no cheat day next weekend, and no sneaky bags of Monster Munch.   Although I do have two meals out next week which may be a little challenging.  But I'm nothing if not a trier...

I had a weigh in on Monday and I was down to 9st 13lbs - total loss of 11lbs!!!!!  Whoop whoop! However, I have not weighed in since then and given that I have eaten nothing but junk this week I am not holding out much hope.  Last night's meal, for example, was a Chinese take away with very, very hungover MB and it was the most delicious plate of stodge imaginable.  Sweet and sticky chilli chicken, pork noodles, egg fried rice, duck pancakes with hoisin sauce, crispy meat dumplings, salt and pepper squid... delish.

So.  I will weigh in again tomorrow or Saturday and see what happens on a one week strict regime.

But if I turn into a flaming walking talking pinto bean you know who to blame.

Bloody Brazil Nuts

Very quick post today, as doing this on the way into work on my phone, so please excuse typos.

Yesterday was horrible. I hated every second of it - I ate barely anything as there was nothing I wanted, I was "on the run" most of the day so not in a position to pack the very few meals that are acceptable, and I am sick to death of protein shakes and bloody brazil nuts.  I am not craving anything, I just feel hungry and bored and extremely irritable.

MB is being very sweet and patient with me - it must be frustrating for him hearing me complaining constantly but I am trying, I really am.  The initial "this is great" is now firmly in the past, I hate it.

If I'm honest, when this little experiment is over (which frankly looks like it will be earlier than I had originally anticipated) there are elements that I will take forward as a lifestyle change.  I will not be having carbs with every meal (I haven’t actually missed them that much) and I will certainly eat more protein.  I will be making better use of beans and pulses, which I have quite enjoyed (just not three times a day) and I will continue with the increased intake of vegetables and salads, which has been nice rather than always having pasta and rice accompaniments.

I am not going to weigh myself now until the weekend as I am having such a bad week if I get on the scales and there is no movement I will most certainly quit as this is no fun and if it is not working then there is no point.

BTW - breakfast this morning - boiled egg. Gipping.

As if I was mental

I'M REALLY, REALLY NOT ENJOYING THIS TODAY.

I met MB this evening and we decided to go for dinner together.  This was something in the past that we used to do fairly regularly, something we both thoroughly enjoyed and was always our evening out of choice.  Neither of us are film buffs and so we never go to the cinema; MB is not hugely into the theatre or live music, and I'm really not fussed about heading over to the Emirates and shouting myself hoarse at a bunch of muppets chasing a ball on a Saturday afternoon.  But meals out, well that was our thing.  That and watching Come Dine With Me (see, even there is a food link).

However, since MB (and now me too) joined Ferriss on this mission to become a superhuman, all that has stopped. We rarely go for dinner these days, mostly because cheat days are saved to be used for family get togethers or when MB is going to football, or has work things to attend etc, and heaven knows we can't have two cheats in one week, that would never do.

So tonight, almost giddy with anticipation, we decided to go for a Mexican meal as I had heard that is the most SCD friendly option.  Right?  Wrong.  It was a disaster.

Firstly, having taken our drinks order, a plate of complimentary tortillas and salsa was placed on the table.  Having tried to ignore them I eventually picked one up and sniffed it.  At the point I knew was I not going to be able to stop myself from licking them I told the waiter to take them away.  He looked at me as if I was mental. 

But then it got worse.  We started reading the menu.

There was nothing on there Ferriss would have approved of.   Everything in the place was either covered in sticky sauce (banned as sugars), sour cream or cheese (banned as dairy), coated in breadcrumbs (banned as evil), or came served with rice and tortilla chips.  Now call me old fashioned, but chilli con carne just aint right without the carne.  And Nachos aint right without the tortillas, cheese and sour cream.  And fajitas would surely fall apart without the tortilla wrap... can you see my dilemma?

So we decided to simply do the best we could do.  We shared tequila chicken wings to start (I'm sure the tequila sauce should have been on the banned list but they appeared the less of the three chicken wing evils) but other than eating the napkins and table decorations it was never going to be 100% Ferriss friendly.  He doesn't do, pleasure, Tim.

For mains I was really stuck.  MB chose the sticky ribs (strangely enough, he has turned out to be a bit of a slacker on the rules and I am the SCD nazi) and substituted his jacket potato for refried beans - which I hate - and I chose some BBQ chicken breast thing.  Mine also came with some sort of sticky coating and cheese (I know, I know, don't hate me) but seriously, there was nothing, but nothing on there I wanted to eat!  I forfeited the fries for a side salad.  Yay me...  We also both had coleslaw (banned cause of mayo) and corn on the cob (banned for no apparent reason).

So all in all, Ferriss ruined my night out.  I didnt enjoy the selection process (I found it very stressful), I didn't enjoy the food as not only did I end up eating stuff I would never normally have picked, it was still not 100% right for SCD and I didnt even come away feeling virtuous for sticking to the plan.

So, that's it.  No more mexican for me.

However, there is an upside.  I have a newfound respect for MB's willpower.  How in donkey's kingdom he has stuck to this regime since February is beyond me.  I know there has been the odd day here and there where he has "cheated", but I can see there are occasions where this is utterly impossible to avoid. So, hats (or sombreros) off to ya MB - you're a tough cookie and I luvs ya all the more for it!!!!

Kissing another dog

Well, my little Ferriss friends, I have good news to report, and bad.

First the good.  And there's two lots of that.

Having been most disheartened by the lack of progress during my last post on Friday, I had an extraordinarily busy day, a very healthy lunch and a bowl of daughter's home made chilli for supper.  With no rice, with no garlic bread, with no cheese - my my I'm a new woman.

Anyway, I had a body pump class on Saturday so I hopped on the scales full of optimism and found to my delight that I had dropped another 2lbs - giving an overall of 6lbs loss in one week!  Yeeeeeehar!   I therefore went to the gym with a grin on my face feeling all "oh yeah" and worked so hard that I can barely move my pathetic little arms today.  But hey, it felt good at the time!

The second bit of good news it that I lost more inches!  The new measurements are (drum roll please)

39-28.5 - 39.5

Yay!!!!!  My boobs might fit into a bra again!  My bum might not spill out of the top of my pants!  My jeans may not need a strong hanger and a whole lot of man power to do them up!  There is hope!!!!!

Have also lost two cm off each leg (sorry to switch imperial and metric but I used different measuring tapes).  Not sure whether that's good or bad, as I always thought my legs were a bit spindly, but a wise owl told me recently that "there is no prejudice when it comes to fat" - I guess that means the Lord giveth and he taketh away.  I will tell you more about this diet guru in due course - what an inspirational woman!

So, clearly, whatever my hatred for Mr Ferriss I guess he kind of knows what he is talking about.

But now for the bad.  Or the weird - you decide.

I have not ahd time to update over the weekend, so I will give you brief synopsis only.

Naughty naughty Ellesbelles did not have breakfast on Saturday.  Simply didn't have time and yes, I know it's the naughtiest sin there is, but frankly, getting up and eating that early would turn my stomach anyway, but when I am about to go and get my nether regions waxed there would have been serious risk of me throwing up over my dear lady beautician.    Then, from the torture that is hot wax, straight to gym, from there straight to....  THE PIZZA PARLOUR!!!!    Now, before you judge me, let me tell you this.  I am not a great fan of pizza anyway, but I would sell my soul to the devil for a good bowl of pasta, and when starving and having been deprived of this heavenly treat for over a week I trust you will be suitably impressed that I chose instead to eat a chicken and pancetta salad.  Hell yeah... I'm a reformed character, I tells ya.  Not even a sniff of  dessert.  I'm a new me and no mistake.

However Mrs Smug had worn off by the time I got to MB's house and although we had a gorgeous meal of lemon sole with scallops served with salad and samphire, all I wanted by then was a kebab.  Or a paella. Or a lasagne.  Or a bar of chocolate.    Now I will tell you a secret.  MB has a sweetie cupboard for his little girl and I will confess I walked over to it - I picked up the Percy Pigs and I gave 'em a good ol' sniff.  At one point I even considered licking one.  But I didn't and I got through it as tomorrow was cheat day so I figured I'd earn myself a whole bag if i wanted. 

But it didnt happen.  Why?  I had plans for cheat day.  Big plans -  for waffles, maple syrup, pancakes, bucks fizz... however upon waking I instead a fancied a bowl of unsweetened cereal (and yes, diet guru lady, I did a damage control swig of grapefruit juice)!  Oh well, I thought, I'll work into it.  So I followed a littel later with a bagel with jam.  Sugar rush?  No, nothing. I felt nothing.

Lunchtime was then a picnic lunch with MB's family - I ate a small amount of bread and a few pastry based snacks, which I must say I thoroughly enoyed, and a slice of cake.  However, by the time evening came and I had made a BBQ I was sick as a dog.  As sick as a dog who has been eating sugar and carbs all day.  On a fairground ride.  And who has just seen his little doggy girlfriend kissing another dog. Couldn't have been sicker.    Stomach cramps, gassy, bloated, uncomfortable - yuk yuk yuk.

So it was early bed for me, then back on the old 4 hour body today.  How very disappointing for my first cheat day. 

And they say you always remember your first...

2 boiled eggs and a cup of tea

Ok my little blogging friends.

Sad news to report. 

I hopped on the scales this morning, and despite having proudly reported my inch loss yesterday, the weight is the same.  How can that be?  It's a bit irritating, because although I promised myself not to expect to continue losing at the earlier rate I found myself pouting at the scales.  

However, not one to be deterred by a wee setback, I ploughed on with the most unappetising breakfast yet.

2 boiled eggs and a cup of black Earl Grey tea with lemon.  Sweet Lord how dull was that?  Every mouthful had me pulling faces, but I kept picturing those stubborn little numbers on the bathroom scales and imagined their ugly, smirking faces laughing at me, taunting me, luring me away from the eggs to a croissant.  But no!  I stayed strong and ate the boring little critters.  And surprisingly, I didn't think about food again until I got back from a meeting at 2.30pm, at which time I ate a HUGE plate of sashimi with ginger and edamame beans and some kind of vegetable/salad which I had never seen before in my life.  And that was delicious.

Are you proud of me again now?

Btw, haven't posted a pic of today's meals as far too boring for me to look at them (bad enough eating them first time round), but perhaps tomorrow I will be inspired to be more creative.

Ideas on a postcard please... and anyone suggesting pancakes will be struck off my Christmas card list.

Rapper's delight

I'm feeling a little blue tonight - tired, still at work with lots left to do before court tomorrow.  Now usually, I would find myself heading down to the shop and picking up a bag or two of monster munch, with a side order of Reese's peanut butter cups, or perhaps a bar of galaxy (why have cotton when you could have silk???), but today I've gone for a different pick me up.  And this one has the effect of not only being calorie free, but it actually makes me smile too. And dance a bit, albeit the bum dance in my seat.

Go on - I defy you to play this and not feel happier...

Sugar Hill Gang

Oh 1979 how I miss thee.

A little cheese here and there

So hear it is - day 4 (feels like longer, funny enough) and other than falling off the wagon face down into a donut yesterday, I've been very very good.  I am taking my supplements.  I am drinking my protein shakes.  I am eating eggs.  I am eating vegetables and salads.  But geewhiz I'm full up.  I mean, for a girl that quite regularly goes for days on end without a decent meal (grabbing snack bars/muffins en route to court - basically eating anything portable and easily held in one hand) it is actually quite hard physically making time - and room - for these healthy meals. 

I never got round to posting these pics yesterday, but here are Tuesday's lunch and dinner meals:

Now as you can see, that is a lot of food for one little girl.  But, surprisingly, whilst it is a lot to eat, its feels so much lighter than my usual bread/rice/pasta based faves that I can eat more of it without feeling over stuffed. And so though I do feel full, I dont feel bloated, and that brings me to the next piece of news.

I LOST ANOTHER INCH OF MY WAIST!!!!!!!

OK, OK, I accept that I am just losing water/bloat etc, but still - 29.5inches today (although still nothing of boobs and bum, another reason I think it was belly bloat rather than actual fat - that will take longer to budge).

The eagle eyed amongst you will have spotted however that whilst I am being very strict with myself about what I'm eating, I am not sticking to Mr Ferriss' regime to the letter, as I am allowing dairy.  Not a lot, but I didn't eat a lot of dairy anyway (except cheese - I could live on that!).  I am drinking mostly tea and coffee black and have switched to Almond milk (which is actually OK).  I am only eating a very small amount of unsweetened natural greek yoghurt, and a little cheese here and there.  I am sure the plan would work better and faster if I did cut out the dairy but that, my friends is a step too far...

forgive me father, for I have sinned...

... I ate a donut :-(

In my defence, I've had a really, really bad morning, and the protein shake was simply not cutting the mustard.  But now I feel rather sick and my guilt ruined the overall deliciousness, making the original glaze somewhat disappointing. 

I need to keep myself on track or this will be me and MB in a few months:



Not a nice thought.

Well that's a weight off my... body!

Well, well.  Weigh in day this morning and I can't say I look or feel any different (but it has only been 48 hours) so stepping on the scales was a mighty shock.

I've lost 4lbs!!!!  That's right people, 4lbs.  Almost half of what I said yesterday I needed to lose!  Inspired by this I whipped out the tape measure to see I've also lost half an inch of my waist (no change to bust or hips yet). 

All this, when I've actually eaten more than I usually would, and certainly eaten healthier foods (did you SEE all that green on my plate yesterday? And not a Monster Munch or toffee bonbon in sight).  So feeling pretty darn smug today... and its only 5 more days til cheat day when i can eat whatever I want for a whole day.

I accept, of course, that just about every woman I know seems to lose weight relatively easily at the beginning of a diet, probably due to water weight, or just the fact that we usually have a wee pig out right before the diet starts, so I am not going to get complacent.  I am not quite ready to pat Mr Ferris on the back just yet. However I do think that this might be the start of a whole new healthy way of eating going forward - just don't quote me on that next time you see me scoffing donuts on my way to work.

Get out of jail free

OK then.  Its the end of day 2 and I've survived.  Just.  No moments of weakness, no cheating, no nasty nasty evil white carbs.  Oh well, no one said it was going to be easy. 

However, this post is a perhaps a bit of a downer on Tim.  I have looking a little deeper into this "regime" and frankly I'm a little concerned.

Firstly, I don't think I've done enough research.  MB has been a convert and I have basically copied his diet and followed his moves.  Not usually my way - I usually resarch, research some more, then do a bit of resarch before deciding I'll make the decision after some more research.  This time has been different.  I suppose this is in part because my heart's not in it and I am probably doing it for the wrong reasons, and such am not really enthused about reading in.  Also, MB keeps telling me he is not making me do it - he has not asked me to and he doesn't expect me to.  Yes, yes, I know that.  He has never, ever asked me to do it, but as he has made it plain that his diet is his business (which I suppose I can't argue with) then in my mind I have to try.  Otherwise we are on the slippery slope to separate meals, separate bedtimes, separate lives.  Before you know it he'll be sharing a three bean mixed salad with some boyfriend stealing witch and I'll be sobbing into my BigMac and fries and double portion McFlurry.   Over reaction?  Possibly.  Probably.  But I've never pretended to be rational.  I was brought up that a family eats together and for me that means the same food.

But I digress.  I am confused by Tim's preachings.  I read a post today on an old blog of Tim's that says no carbs except within a set time of a work out.  Read it here - its rule No 1.

Tim's blog

Whaaaaaaaat?  So carbs are allowed if you are working out?  Surely not!  Unfortunately, despite this wonderful, delicious, heartwarming and yet ultimately misleading revelation having me on the treadmill dreaming of a cinnamon swirl, it's all a pile of bollocks.  The rule is no naughty carbs, workout or not, unless cheat day.  But you can see my confusion.  The lying, cheating tease.  Say it with me people - I HATE YOU TIM FERRISS!

So, it seems that despite my thinking I had found a Get Out of Jail Free card, I hadn't.  I had only found Tim changing his mind.  Or getting it wrong.  Or not being clear.  Perhaps, if I am being mighty generous, I misunderstood.  Whatever - I still didn't get my cinnamon swirl.  Instead, I got this:

Now, it doesnt look much, I grant you, but it was lovely.  Fresh prawns, butterbeans with lemon and parsley, santini tomatoes.  Fresh, light, yet filling.  Oh yes, and AGG supplements.

And nuts - oh God the nuts.  Too many nuts.

The other bit of news today is that I did a body fat test today - online so perhaps not the most reliable, scientifically, but the reading came out at 26%.  My optimum, apparently, is 20% (ie optimum "normal", "healthy" etc, I dont want to  be "athletic" or "lean") and further apparently (nice grammar, EB) I therefore only need to lose 9LB to get there.  Now that all sounds a bit suspect to me, but hey, I can do that with my eyes shut.  Lose 9lbs?  Watch it and weep Ferris...

Weight in tomorrow - woohoo!

I'm all ears

Well, day 1 passed without a hitch.  The dinner with MB's family was fine (MB brought along a tin of haricot beans for us, instead of potatoes) so the only real test was having my all time fave dessert of pavlova placed in front of me like some tempting little siren calling my name.  It was hard, very hard, but I resisted.  In all honestly, would I have resisted if MB wasn't there?  Probably not as it would have been easy to say "oh well, this is just day 1 - I'll start it for real tomorrow".  However, resist it I did, and I'd now be annoyed with myself if I now cheated as I'd be setting myself back 2 days, not 1, and so on. 

As I am office bound,  breakfast will always be a challenge for me but as I dont always eat breakfast anyway I am going to see how I get on with a protein shake and a handful of nuts.

 If I find that's not enough I may have to consider bringing in a boiled egg or something, but I really hate the idea of cold eggs, and I leave the house so early I just can't eat when I first get up.  We'll see how it goes, but if anyone has any nice breakfast suggestions I'm all ears...

Will be going for a new weigh in tomorrow (48 hours in) so will see how it goes.

Day 1 - so far so... boring.

And we're off!

The day started with a big old grump on as instead of my usual cup of tea in bed I had a cup of black tea with a slice of lemon, a glass of water and the first 3 of my 13 supplements I will be taking daily from now on together with 2 brazil nuts.  How dull.

Things soon picked up though, with my real breakfast consisting of two poached eggs, bacon, beans and cherry tomatoes.  Not too bad, I suppose, although it did feel weird not having a slice of toast with it.  

Have decided that whilst the tea with lemon will do for most of the day, there are certain times when a cup of proper tea and nothing else will do.  Hell, I'm only human...

MB has headed off to Waitrose now for the ingredients for lunch.  As we are out for dinner at his mother's tonight so for lunch we are going to have a light omelette and salad.  Wouldn't probably usually fancy eggs twice in a day, but frankly at this stage I need to eat stuff I like more than I need variety and if I didnt have that I would probably have been served a bowl of lentils...  give it a few days and I'll no doubt be sick to the back teeth of eggs.

I understand dinner this evening is to be chicken casserole, so that's OK - I am not a big potato fan anyway so it wont bother me if I dont have those.  I'm also allowed red wine on this diet, which is pretty cool.  A glass or two a day - dont mind if I do!

No point measuring or re-weighing today as its too early to tell anything yet.  However, I can't honestly say I'm hungry, although for some reason I just can't stop thinging about food.  But that might be because I've watched 5 episodes of come dine with me this morning!

More than a little grumpy

Shit.

Got on scales today for the big pre-diet weight in, only to discover that I am now officially the heaviest I've been in over 4 years, and what's more I have put on 7lbs - yes 7lbs - in just over a week!  Admittedly that is in part because since I decided to jump on the Ferriss bandwagon I have deliberately, wantonly and recklessly eaten what ever I wanted, whenever I wanted and boy oh boy do I feel it.  I am sluggish, lethargic and more than a little grumpy, I feel fat and I am now more than ready to have a few weeks of taking the load off my overworked systems.  Not only that, but my blood pressure is up (150/100) and it is clearly and positively time to sort it out.

However, to send me off in the best way I've spent the day at the Taste Festival in London, scoffed and drank to my hearts content, then came home for fish and chips and beer.  Jeeeeez I feel sick now.

So, the pre-diet vital stats are as follows:

Weight             10 stone 10lbs (eeeeeeeeek!)
Measurements   40-31-41

I have not set a target weight, but if I dont lost half a stone in the next two weeks I'll be pretty gutted.

Wish me luck?

sylph like frame

The supplements have arrived.

Apparently, my sylph like frame is now within easy grasp so long as I swap my cheese and onion crisps for the following yummy mix of pills:

·        Policosanol

·        Alpha Lipoic Acid

·        Green Tea Extract

·        Odourless Garlic

This clever little concoction is hereafter known and to be referred to as P-A-G-G (geddit???? Oh Mr F you really are a true genius.)

Before starting to rattle like pair of well worn percussion maracas however I suppose I really ought to read up on what each of these little morsels is supposed to give me… I’ll let you know when I find out.

Prepping for the big day...

... and no, the big day is not my wedding, not the birth of my child, not even the start of a new job.   The big day in question is in fact, my friends, little more than the start of a new diet.  But is it just a new diet?  No, this is so, so much more than that.  This is the start of, potentially, a whole new way of life.  Or the end of my relationship.  Or both.  Who knows.

Let me explain, in brief, how I got here.

A few months ago my very lovely and previously rather normal boyfriend (who shall be known as MB) went a bit nuts.  Not technically insane or anything, but just a bit bonkers.  His insanity, however, relates entirely to his dietary intake.  Foods which we had both previously enjoyed and indeed relished are now banned from his diet for six days a week and, as I am a bit weird in that I like us to sit down and enjoy a meal together (by which I mean the same meal, at the same time, together) ergo they are similarly banned from mine.  Then, on the seventh day, instead of resting as God intended we are expected to gorge ourselves on those previously banned foods to the point where the pleasure is removed and by the end of Cheat Day (as it is known) the idea is, apparently, to feel sick.

So what caused this breakdown of MB's sensible mental faculties?  It was his discovery of the 4 Hour Body, written by the inimitable Mr Tim Ferriss.  Now don’t get me wrong, I'm sure the man is a genius.  I am sure he has worked very, very hard to hone his skills and has presented them clearly concisely into a book which has become, for many, the gastronomic equivalent of the bible.  However, notwithstanding Mr Ferriss' obvious talent and mastery of his subject, I hate him.  Yes, you heard me, I HATE TIM FERRISS!  I fully accept that this is an irrational hatred, built on nothing but lack of white carbs.  But there you have it.  I am a woman, I am entitled to the odd irrational hatred now and then. 

I do not fully set out the premise behind Mr Ferriss' works here (that will follow as I work out what I’m supposed to be doing), but will post a link to his blog so you can see what it is all about.  It would appear that he is a mighty popular chap, with numerous blogs, Facebook groups etc all waxing lyrical about the magic diet. Yada yada yada.

Reluctantly, I will admit since starting the diet, my boyfriend's body is looking pretty bloody amazing.  Not that he was fat before, far from it, and I would go so far as to say that he was truly perfect in my eyes and did not need to change a thing.  However, within 2 weeks of starting the diet he had lost a shed load of weight, had become super toned, the starting of the love handles he had battled against for years had gone completely and he has the body of a man ten years younger.  What's not to like, right?  Well, what I don’t like is the list of "can't haves".  These are summarised below (and this list is not, nor is it intended to be comprehensive):

·       Bread

·       Rice

·       Pasta

·       Potatoes

·       Fruit

·       Sugar

Now as I say, this is not a comprehensive list, but in this mini list are all the food groups I survive on. No longer can we pop out for lunch/dinner with family/friends as the chances are they are not going to give us a plate of lentils or a boiled egg.  Restaurant visits are planned with military precision to ensure there is more than just a salad for us to eat.  Breakfast, previously a leisure indulgence of croissants, pain au chocolat etc, to be enjoyed in bed on a Sunday morning is now forbidden and instead in comes eggs and spinach.  Or plain yoghurt.  With cinnamon – everything with bloody cinnamon!  Oh, and don’t forget the mountain of supplements I need to take every day.  There are other negative side effects too, but these will follow on another day, when I get to know you better.

I could go on.  And on, and on, and on.

So then, given my intense antipathy for this stupid, stupid diet, why am I going to start it too?  Well frankly, dear reader, it’s because if you can’t beat’em, you must reluctantly join ‘em.   I have begged, cajoled and pleaded with MB to give this awful, boring, repetitive nonsense up, but he won’t hear of it.   And frankly, I could do with losing a few pounds myself so I am going to give it my very best shot in the hope that I may learn to love cannellini beans and odourless garlic tablets as much as the next person.  If not, then I guess I will be back online dating before you can say I hate you Tim Ferriss…

Let the preparations commence.